Statue in front of a house in Hammonton

While riding through town I've noticed that there are a lot of houses with Mary statues displayed in front of them. Usually they are encased within a concrete stone that is painted blue and white. Many of them resemble the one that sits by my Grandma's doorstep in front of the house I live in.


Noticing these sporadic Virgin Mary's got me thinking about what makes us believe in anything. As human beings in the year 2010, it seems we have a preference for "knowing" over "believing,"(and for some strange reason, Justin Bieber over Justin Timberlake). This "knowing" over "believing" thing does not seem like a bad concept, or something we can really blame ourselves for, considering that through science we have been able to "know" more things than ever. But I'm starting to realize that we need both equally, and that believing is in no way inferior to knowing.


I started thinking how this concept could apply to everyday relationships between human beings and not just things like believing in God.


For example, "I just knew" is something we often hear married couples say when asked how they met and decided to marry. Using the word "know" makes it seem more absolute, more permanent. Imagine if people went around saying they just "believed" little ol' Sally Jo was the right girl for them. Not so convincing; but although it doesn't sound as powerful, I think people should start using the word "believe" instead.


Why? Because there is already so much pressure to "know" for sure, especially when trading rings is involved, and who can blame our generation for fearing marriage when we hear how divorce rates have risen. Just using this word "know" throws everything off. "Knowing" makes people like me, and I'm sure a lot of other people, feel like they should "know" something that they sure as hell don't. It makes people who didn't just "know" when they met someone feel like they were supposed to know. 


And this leads to bigger problems.


Those that don't "know" for sure will start to think that because they do not "know" for sure, this thing they are unsure about must be wrong (was that a real sentence!?). And then we worry about what it is that could be wrong.... making the thing we don't absolutely "know" about a lot wrong-er than it was to begin with.


The older I get, and the more friends I talk to, the more I realize that any relationship you take with another human being is a chance. No matter how much we claim to "know" someone, we never really know them completely. We don't always know what each other are thinking or feeling despite what we may tell each other. This is where belief comes in. 


Now obviously believing in things without some kind of knowledge isn't good either. Example: Britney Spears' first and second marriages.


We need both equally. Well duh you might say. But how many times have we let things out of our lives just because we weren't sure about them? How many times have we skipped out on things because we thought something better, something more assuring, something we would "know" was right would come along?


What I'm getting to is that it seems knowing and believing have to work together in relationships. We get to know things about people that let us choose whether or not we want to continue believing in that person in the future. But I also think we have to believe in others first when things are unclear and not just bail out because we don't "know" anymore. We have to accept that we will never know for sure because if we are always on the search for assurance, we will never find it. 


In short, just because we don't know for sure that something or someone is right does not necessarily mean that that something or someone is wrong. And on the quest to always "know" I wonder how much capacity we lose to "believe".


I hope this makes sense because the more I write about it the more I feel like my brain is going to jump out of my body and take its own bike ride because it is getting annoyed with me. 


So what do you think? How important do you think believing is in our everyday lives, especially when it comes to relationships?


Below are lyrics from my parents wedding song that coincidentally reflect the importance of believing in relationships:


I believe in you and me
I believe that we will be
In love eternally
Well as far as I can see
You will always be the one for me